("Is that my North or your North?"."Sorry?") They do not change relative to your position. North, West, South and East are constants. The bike musterers cannot see turbulance and wonder why the pilot is green when he lands. The spotter in the mustering plane/chopper cannot see rocks and bumps, therefore wonders why it takes so long for the bikes to arrive at the stock. Sales Reps always arrive when you are doing stockwork and have a knack for standing in the wrong place. Just how late depends on how badly you need it. Freight is always late on a Monday morning. You can have your spare tyre floating about the back of the ute for months, but the day you decide to stow it under tray is the day you get a flat. Busty rousabouts and low cut tops are a shearing shed hazard which Worksafe needs to address. The very same stock will refuse to go through the very same gate if you try to make them. By which time they have walked out the open gate. Stock in a paddock will spend all day in the furtherest corner of a paddock away from the gate, until you go through and leave it open cos you'll be back in 5 minutes. Or, you will run out of paddock with about five tonnes of product left. You will run out of product with one hectare to go. When performing any cropping operation such as seeding, spraying or spreading, the last paddock will have only one of two outcomes. The useless ones live a long and happy life. Livestock farmers are paranoid about gates and shut every bloody one even if there is only one mob on the farm.
Cropping cockies do not know how to shut a gate. Beware the jiggers that keep a shot up the spout lest you brush your arm as you climb the stock truck. It is however the best way to make someone fall off a stock truck laughing. Touching the end of a jigger is not the best way to see if it works. A deaf sheepdog's hearing improves remarkabley when you pick up a waddi. Windmill ladders have been perfectly designed to use the least amount of steel possible (seriously how hard is to put a decent ladder on them?) Windmills that work all year break on New Years Eve in 45 C degree heat. The same winch works perfectly again once back in the shed. A windmill winch that worked perfectly fine in the shed fails to work after the 24km trip to the broken windmill.
These are all based on experiance and in no particular order. The longer I work the more I realise that Murphy was probably a farmer.
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